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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23622928">my love will be remembered</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosas/pseuds/rosas'>rosas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Baekhyun just needs reassurance, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, References to Depression, other exos are mentioned</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:41:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,544</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23622928</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosas/pseuds/rosas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyungsoo doesn’t mind reminding Baekhyun why he loves him. In fact, he doesn’t think he’ll grow tired of telling him why.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo | D.O</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>my love will be remembered</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>title comes from baby dont cry. </p><p>this fic comes from exo discography. also unbeta’d so sorry for any mistakes anywhere</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Baekhyun stares out the window and keeps his eyes on a single raindrop that trails down. Another raindrop hits the glass before more begin to collect. He sighs as the gentle taps make its rhythm. He glances further out and sees just how <i>gloomy</i> it is outside. It’s empty, it’s wet, and it's dark. He sighs and looks away before the thought gets to him. </p><p>He stands up and makes his way to the kitchen, checking the cupboards. There’s ramen and his stomach growls, but he doesn’t have the motivation to actually make it. He shuts the cupboard door softly and turns around to check the fridge. He can’t remember the last time he’s stocked it. He should get it together and probably go grocery shopping. He scratches his jaw as he scans the contents, grumbling when he finds nothing. He shuts that too. This small trip was a waste of time. </p><p>There’s nothing to do. He called out sick from work, he doesn’t have the attention span to possibly watch something without his eyes unfocusing, he doesn’t think he can actually do something. Talking to people just takes up so much energy. He hasn’t checked his phone in a while. He doesn’t even think his friends are worried. They’ve drifted apart for a while now. Lately, Baekhyun just doesn’t have it in him to meet up with them. Jongdae sometimes checks up on him. He declines Chanyeol’s offer for drinks whenever he thinks about Baekhyun again. </p><p>He’s not important, and it’s taking him a while to get used to it. He’s always been surrounded by people. He’s always been happy and talkative. He was <i>Baekhyun</i>. Now, he’s just “a friend I used to have”. It hurts, if he’s honest. Being alone isn’t his custom, but now he can’t help but feel like he should be alone. </p><p>He sighs and feels all the energy drained from him in an instant. He’s tired, he’s sad, and he just wants to sleep it all away. He doesn’t want to do anything. </p><p>He crouches down and sits. Right on the kitchen floor. He doesn’t even think it's dirty. Just dusty. He never cooks anything more than ramen. He just orders take-out now. It’s humiliating, really. </p><p>Baekhyun lets himself fall back, wincing just a little at the miscalculation when his head hits against the floor. He brings his hand up to massage the area. He pouts as he stares up at his kitchen light. It’s bright. </p><p>He realizes he left his phone on the couch. His only entertainment is his thoughts and he doesn’t think they’ll make him laugh much. </p><p>There’s nothing much to think anymore. The first month he ripped himself to pieces. There’s nothing to do anymore. Baekhyun is nothing. He has no use anymore. He’s been replaced and brushed away, just like any other inanimate object. His mind dares to toe at a dangerous thought, but he shakes his head before his brain can linger any further. </p><p>He doesn’t know how long he’s stayed on the floor until he hears a key at the door. He knows he should get up, but he can’t really feel anything right now. Whenever he gets like this, his entire body goes numb. He doesn’t mind. </p><p>The door to his apartment opens and he braces himself for it.</p><p>“I’m back,” The voice echoes throughout the apartment. Baekhyun doesn’t reply. “Why is it so quiet?” </p><p>He hears more rustling before the footsteps are padding against the floorboards. Baekhyun hears them getting closer until he hears the gasp.</p><p>“What are you doing on the floor?” Baekhyun wonders the same thing too. He moves his arm to pat the open space next to him. The footsteps come closer until they eventually stop in front of him. </p><p>Baekhyun rips his gaze away from the kitchen lights to face Kyungsoo. His eyes can’t adjust all that well from the sudden change in light, but he’s sure he can map out the concern that knit his eyebrows together. Baekhyun just smiles. </p><p>“Come.” Kyungsoo shakes his head.</p><p>“It’s dirty.” He states this like a fact. Baekhyun might agree but he’s already laying down.</p><p>“You can always shower. Come.” He repeats himself. He watches Kyungsoo press his lips into a line before defeat is shown in the way he sags his shoulders. Baekhyun removes his arm so Kyungsoo can lay down next to him. </p><p>Kyungsoo doesn’t hit his head as he lays down. His arm is pressed against Baekhyun’s own. It might be just a little bit uncomfortable but it’s fine. </p><p>“So, will you answer my question now?” Kyungsoo always knew when and when not to indulge Baekhyun. That’s one of the things he enjoys most about his boyfriend. He can pinpoint Baekhyun’s feelings and read him like an open book. He might’ve figured him out already the minute he stepped inside. </p><p>“I was hungry,” Baekhyun answers simply. “Can I ask a question?” </p><p>“You just did, didn’t you?” </p><p>“And you did too! Just now. My turn,” Baekhyun turns his head to look at Kyungsoo who’s already staring at him. For a moment, Kyungsoo has the same curious eyes he did when they first met. </p><p>They were still in college. Chanyeol was friends with too many people, who were soon Baekhyun’s own friends. When he met Kyungsoo there was no heart eyes nor sudden realization of love. Baekhyun did not know that Kyungsoo would’ve taken such a huge space in Baekhyun’s heart. </p><p>It was a simple story. They met more, they talked more and it all developed into feelings. When Baekhyun realized he had a crush, Kyungsoo was chewing on a pen as he revised an essay. Baekhyun laughed, causing Kyungsoo to peer at him in annoyance. In that sudden second, Baekhyun knew he wouldn’t want it any other way. </p><p>Of course, when he confessed it was random, because that’s all Baekhyun is: unpredictable. Kyungsoo didn’t expect it, if it were any indication by the way he choked on his sprite when Baekhyun said so. Kyungsoo, being himself, abandoned Baekhyun right at the foodcourt until he met with Baekhyun again the next week with a sudden kiss. </p><p>Baekhyun didn’t expect it either. There’s always something new, unexpected with Kyungsoo. Like nothing could prepare them for a surprise.</p><p>Which is why it takes Kyungsoo by surprise when Baekhyun asks, “Why haven’t you left me yet?” </p><p>Kyungsoo has his mouth open due to shock, of course. He closes his mouth immediately and he frowns, like Baekhyun had just asked him an outrageous question. He supposes it is outrageous, but Baekhyun is anything but blunt.</p><p>“I don’t understand.” Kyungsoo admits. </p><p>“What do you mean? Why haven’t you realized?” </p><p>“Realized what?” The exchange of questions frustrates Baekhyun. How could he possibly act so clueless? How can he act like the past three months Baekhyun hasn’t been anything but a terrible boyfriend? He doesn’t stay up with Kyungsoo to watch movies every Friday like they have for the four years they’ve been together. They don’t cuddle like they used to. The conversations have dwindled down to simple sentences most of the time. Baekhyun just isn’t the same, how hasn’t he realized that? </p><p>“Why haven’t you realized that I’m not enough anymore?” Baekhyun whispers. Kyungsoo no longer has a frown on his face when Baekhyun finishes his question. There’s only silence as Kyungsoo keeps his eyes on Baekhyun. </p><p>Baekhyun knows that his silence usually means that he’s trying to formulate the right words to say. He doesn’t look angry and it relieves Baekhyun just a little. </p><p>“Do you want me to leave?” Baekhyun almost laughs at this. He has to tear his eyes away from Kyungsoo to stare back up at the lights before he shuts down again. The brightness strains his eyes.</p><p>“You’d be killing me if you left me.” Baekhyun answers honestly. </p><p>“What makes me any different than you?” Baekhyun slightly wonders when Kyungsoo began to ask all the questions. Usually he did all the answering while Baekhyun did all the asking. </p><p>“There are people out there who are better than me. People who don’t lay on kitchen floors.” Baekhyun expects a snort but it never comes. </p><p>“They’re not you.” </p><p>Baekhyun feels tears sting at his eyes. <i>Not you</i>, what the hell does that even mean? Isn’t that a good thing? </p><p>“They’re not the same Baekhyun that can’t sleep unless I kiss him goodnight. They’re not the Baekhyun that can’t even cook eggs without burning them. They’re not the Baekhyun that gets excited whenever they see a dog outside despite living on the fifth floor,” Kyungsoo continues. “They’re not the Baekhyun that loves <i>me</i>.” </p><p>“But why settle for me? Anyone else can do that. There are plenty of bad cooks. People always get happy to see dogs. Anybody can love you.” Baekhyun refutes. </p><p>“Because no one can ever make me feel the way you do. You make me so unbelievably happy, Baekhyun. You’re everything I love and more,” Kyungsoo immediately says. “You’re a part of me. Seeing you like this, on a kitchen floor—it doesn’t make me want to leave you. You worry too much about what I deserve that you haven’t stopped to think about what I <i>want</i>.” </p><p>Baekhyun hesitates before asking, “What do you want?”</p><p>“To spend the rest of my life with you.” </p><p>The mere implication of forever with Kyungsoo breaks Baekhyun. Like the last string he was clinging onto was suddenly snapped in half. He sobs as he uses his hands to wipe his tears. He feels Kyungsoo sit up but he can’t stop crying. Kyungsoo runs his fingers through his hair, just like he usually does when Baekhyun is upset. It makes Baekhyun cry even harder.</p><p>Kyungsoo lets Baekhyun calm down a little before he stands up and pulls Baekhyun up. He holds Baekhyun’s hand and leads him into the bathroom, telling him to wait as he gets the bath ready. Baekhyun nods, still trying to pull himself together. </p><p>Kyungsoo lets the faucet fill the bath as he helps Baekhyun undress. They don’t share any words as they do so. By the time they’re completely undressed, the bath is already steaming and full. Kyungsoo helps Baekhyun get in before he does too, letting Baekhyun settle between his legs. He rests his chin on Baekhyun’s shoulder as he wraps his arms around his waist underwater. </p><p>Kyungsoo doesn’t push Baekhyun for an explanation. He lets Baekhyun wash himself up, moving back to apply shampoo on Baekhyun. They take their time like usual when they bath together. Baekhyun lets his eyes shut as Kyungsoo massages his scalp. </p><p>For a moment, Baekhyun feels guilty. Kyungsoo is nothing but patient with him. When Baekhyun gets like this, Kyungsoo just comforts him as best as he can. He holds him, cooks for him, sings for him. Baekhyun doesn’t think he could ever compare to his boyfriend.</p><p>“Close your eyes.” Baekhyun hums and feels Kyungsoo pour water over his head, washing out the shampoo carefully. Baekhyun slumps over when Kyungsoo is done. </p><p>Again, Kyungsoo holds Baekhyun and rests his cheek against his back. Baekhyun feels like he can breathe now despite how stuffy it feels. Kyungsoo pulls away and presses kisses over his shoulder and to his neck. Baekhyun gasps and shys away from the touch. Kyungsoo almost laughs when Baekhyun whines. </p><p>“You haven’t even washed up… The water is getting cold now.” Baekhyun points out. Kyungsoo shakes his head.</p><p>“It’s fine, I like being here with you.” Kyungsoo assures.</p><p>Kyungsoo tightens his hold around Baekhyun when he begins to cry again. His whispers of reassurance resonate with Baekhyun’s hiccuping. The water is cold when Kyungsoo drains it and dries them both off. </p><p>“Have you eaten?” Kyungsoo asks as Baekhyun pulls the sweatpants over his legs. </p><p>“I couldn’t.” It’s not a lie. </p><p>Kyungsoo ends up making the ramen Baekhyun looked at earlier.</p><p>“We should go to the market tomorrow.” Kyungsoo says before blowing the noodles, cooling it down before offering it to Baekhyun. Baekhyun opens his mouth and lets Kyungsoo feed him.</p><p>“We should,” Baekhyun pauses to chew and swallow. “I miss your cooking.” </p><p>Kyungsoo smiles in response. He bunches up more noodles with the chopsticks before repeating his previous actions. Baekhyun just eats as much as he can before he pushes Kyungsoo’s hand away. He tells him to eat and Kyungsoo looks at him before finishing the bowl. </p><p>“It’s late.” Kyungsoo states when he throws away the bowl. Baekhyun nods and waits for Kyungsoo to finish cleaning before he turns off the kitchen light. It’s no longer bright. </p><p>They brush their teeth in silence too. Mostly because Kyungsoo hates speaking with a mouth full of toothpaste, but also because Baekhyun needs to prepare himself for the talk they’re about to have. </p><p>Baekhyun lays on his side and plays with a string coming from his pillow as he waits for Kyungsoo to get in bed with him too. Usually, Kyungsoo does one last clean before he sleeps. Today is no different. </p><p>When he returns, he pulls the covers over the both of them. Kyungsoo snakes his arm around Baekhyun and cuddles in closer to press against Baekhyun’s back. Baekhyun sighs before he places his hand over Kyungsoo’s own. He plays with his fingers. </p><p>Kyungsoo’s hands are nice. They’re a good feature of Kyungsoo. Compared to Baekhyun, his knuckles are a bit bigger. His nails aren’t as long. They’re more rounded and smaller than Baekhyun’s. Still, his hands are always the nicest. </p><p>“I’m sorry.” Baekhyun begins. </p><p>“For?” </p><p>“Being like this. Making you do all of this like I can’t do it myself.” Baekhyun continues to play his fingers.</p><p>“I don’t mind,” Kyungsoo whispers. Baekhyun doesn’t flinch this time when his breath hits his neck. “Chanyeol has been asking about you.” Baekhyun tenses at this instead.</p><p>“Chanyeol? What does he say?” Baekhyun asks. </p><p>“‘How is he? Why hasn’t he replied to me? Did he watch Naruto again?’” Kyungsoo reiterates. Baekhyun scoffs. </p><p>“How can you not cry watching Naruto?” </p><p>“He cares about you, Baek. He’s your best friend after all.” Kyungsoo adjusts his hand to intertwine their fingers. </p><p>“It’s hard, Soo. I feel like I can easily be replaced. I’m not someone to keep around, especially not like this. I’m not who I used to be.” Baekhyun feels himself tearing up. His body must hate him for crying so much.</p><p>“You’re right, you’re not who you used to be,” Baekhyun’s heart drops. This is the part where his boyfriend realizes that Baekhyun isn’t worth his time and leaves him. Kyungsoo removes his hand from Baekhyun’s and trails over to his chest, laying his palm right over his heart. “But you’re still the same in here. You’re still the same Baekhyun I fell in love with.” </p><p>Baekhyun lets out the breath he was holding. It’s shaky as he grabs Kyungsoo’s hand and pulls it away so Baekhyun can turn around. He faces Kyungsoo and his eyes are filled with so much fondness. Kyungsoo is still the same person he fell in love with as well. </p><p>“How are you not tired of me?” Baekhyun asks again. Kyungsoo closes his eyes. </p><p>“I don’t think I can ever get tired of you. These past few months were different, I admit. It hurts to see you like this, but I just want to help.” Kyungsoo opens his eyes again. Baekhyun wants to say something but all that stands out is Kyungsoo admitting his own feelings. He had no idea that he affected Kyungsoo as much. He feels so guilty.</p><p>“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t make you feel like that.” Baekhyun is about to continue his apology before Kyungsoo leans in to press a kiss against his forehead. </p><p>“We’re a team, Baekhyun. You and I,” Kyungsoo smiles. Baekhyun looks up at him. In another split second, he’s reminded why he loves him so much. “Remember how I was during our last year? My thesis?” </p><p>Baekhyun does remember. Kyungsoo was so stressed about it it made him eat less, more irritable and so insecure. He remembers holding Kyungsoo at four in the morning, assuring him that his thesis does not define his abilities. In the end, his professor admitted it was one of the best he’s received. </p><p>Still, that doesn’t erase how tense their relationship was. He remembers fearing that one day Kyungsoo would just call it quits on them until Kyungsoo realized how much effort Baekhyun put into their relationship. He remembers the heartfelt conversation they had and Kyungsoo’s promise to try harder for them. </p><p>That’s exactly what he’s doing. He’s returning the favor. </p><p>“Oh, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun reaches up to cup Kyungsoo’s cheek. He leans up to press a kiss against his lips. It’s light, it’s simple. Kyungsoo smiles when he pulls away. Baekhyun returns it.</p><p>“You’re loved, Baekhyun. Not just by me. Chanyeol, Jongdae, Minseok and Sehun—they all care about you. You’d be surprised to know how many times they’ve texted me about you. You should try to meet with them some day.” Kyungsoo somehow always manages to say the right things to Baekhyun. He never fails to read Baekhyun perfectly. </p><p>“It’ll be hard to remember that.” Baekhyun mumbles. Kyungsoo grabs his arms and puts them around himself. Baekhyun tightens his hold while Kyungsoo wraps his own arms around Baekhyun. </p><p>“Then I’ll remind you.” Baekhyun whimpers and presses his head against Kyungsoo’s chest. He can feel his heartbeat through the thin fabric. It’s gentle and rhythmic. Just like the rain earlier in the afternoon. It’s different, however. Kyungsoo is bright, enthralling, and gentle. Kyungsoo is his moon, his stars, and his sun in one. </p><p>Baekhyun doesn’t say anything more. He doesn’t think he can. He’s shed enough tears and now he’s just <i>exhausted</i>. He ate, bathed and brooded. All that’s left is to sleep. </p><p>Kyungsoo begins to hum a lullaby and if Baekhyun weren’t so drained he would’ve teased him. Now, it’s just comforting. Baekhyun hums along with him despite his croaky voice. Kyungsoo returns to playing with Baekhyun’s hair until the older replaces his hums with soft snores. </p><p>When Baekhyun wakes up, Kyungsoo is gone from bed and he momentarily panics. He sits up from bed and rubs at his eyes, groaning at the feeling in his eyes. They’re still puffy and the light coming from the curtains already makes him squint. He hears the door open and he immediately looks up. </p><p>“Oh, you’re awake. Get dressed,” Kyungsoo says as he looks for a jacket. Baekhyun throws off the covers and stretches. The tension in his muscles dissipate. </p><p>He still feels bad but Kyungsoo makes him want to try to overcome it. </p><p>Baekhyun does get dressed but he steps out of his room still suspicious. He sees Kyungsoo grab his keys and walk to the hallway to put on his shoes. Baekhyun follows behind without a word. </p><p>“I invited everyone, by the way. You’re helping me cook,” Baekhyun makes a noise of protest. Kyungsoo looks over and his face softens. “Is that okay? We can reschedule if you’re not ready.” </p><p>Baekhyun shakes his head. </p><p>“It’s fine. I’m just… scared. I haven’t seen or talked to them in a while. What might they think?” </p><p>“They’re your friends, Baek. I think they’d just be relieved to see you,” Kyungsoo assures Baekhyun. Kyungsoo holds his hand out for Baekhyun to hold. Baekhyun grins and takes it. Kyungsoo looks up at his boyfriend and smiles too. “I’m relieved to see you smile again. I missed it.” </p><p>This takes Baekhyun by surprise. Did he really not smile that much? Kyungsoo pulls him down to kiss him. It’s gentle again, like he needs it more than Baekhyun did. </p><p>“Love you.” Kyungsoo mumbles. Baekhyun laughs against his lips.</p><p>“I love you too.” Baekhyun pulls away and keeps his smile plastered. Kyungsoo just squeezes his hand before he opens the door to step out. </p><p>That night, he clings to Kyungsoo when his friends show up. He’s still quiet and he avoids his friends questions about his absence. He holds onto Kyungsoo’s hand for comfort the entire time.</p><p>Truthfully, he should’ve seen it coming when Chanyeol began to cry and pull Baekhyun into a hug. He pats the taller’s back and assures that he’s fine. He forgot how much of a baby Chanyeol is.</p><p>He didn’t expect to be so overwhelmingly received like Baekhyun didn’t ignore them for the past two months or so. </p><p>No, it’s not the same anymore. Baekhyun still struggles to understand why everyone likes him, but he appreciates everyone’s efforts. Kyungsoo still pets his hair when it gets bad and makes him distance himself from everyone. He makes Baekhyun ramen and scrubs his back after he’s cried for hours still. </p><p>Kyungsoo reminds him of his love everyday and Baekhyun is sure that he wants to spend his life with Kyungsoo too. He knows when he feels Kyungsoo’s heart beat in the same rhythm as his.</p><p>Baekhyun is back on the floor of his kitchen staring up at the light. It’s still as bright as it was a year ago. When Kyungsoo returns from work and looks down at Baekhyun with his heart-shaped smile, he doesn’t think he can differentiate the light that radiates from both. </p><p>When Baekhyun sits up and grabs Kyungsoo’s hand, he decides that Kyungsoo might just be brighter than any light.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don’t own a bathtub &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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